OK Readers - it is time you got off the dime and really put your support behind Rayelan, your owner and controller for the good of the New World Order through our main sponsor, the CIA.
I mean it. If she has a few little issues, for instance not being able to discern reality and some habits which are lamentable, for instance spending every penny she gets her pink, pudgy hands on, and ignoring the need to keep paying rent and the compounding of interest on those credit cards you forced her to take out by not doing your duty earlier, that is something you should find adorable and entirely understandable. In fact, you should celebrate her ability to be herself and not make her expend her time thinking up lies to get you to do your duty and fill the till.
So, we have instituted a new way for you useless eaters to express your undying loyalty for all that Rumor Mill News stands for, which is naturally reducing the world population by 90%, instituting absolute control over useless eaters, and determining the course of the future for the entire globe and the rest of the Universe, known and unknown by you dopes.
Time is a wasting. Rent has to be paid on Rayelan's homes and on the Units. Shadow Soul has signed up for No. 1. Get in line and do your duty. NOW!!!! We know where you live and the name of your companion animal. And we know what we are doing.
And Blessings from the Most High (namely Rayelan) to all of you. - Hozie
Rayelan - The Most Magnificent