Wednesday, April 1, 2015

Time for Dinar! Get yours with cheese.



Ameritrade Search Results for the Iraqi Dinar
But don't let that bother you.  Rush right out and buy some more!  Perfect for April Fool's Day


APRIL FOOLS DAY ??? Worldwide Celebrations as Iraqi Dinar Revalues 1:1000!
Posted By: Mr.Ed [Send E-Mail]
Date: Wednesday, 1-Apr-2015 03:46:41 


Worldwide Celebrations as Iraqi Dinar Revalues 1:1000!
Posted by EXOGEN on April 1, 2015 at 1:25am
Just as the dinar speculators predicted, Iraq has re-valued its currency 1000-fold, making dollar-millionaires of ordinary folk from Anbar to Arkansas!
The unprecedented 100,000% revaluation was welcomed by businesses all across the world, who saw nothing strange about paying $1,000 today for something that was priced at $1 yesterday. At the stroke of a pen, foreign companies now pay their cleaning staff in Iraq more than they pay board-level directors back at home.
Dozens of ‘investors’ in America partied the night away, as news of their windfall came through.
Billy Bob, from Alabama, exclaimed: “I knew it would happen, just like the Lord said it would!” When asked why he only invested $1,000 if he knew it would revalue, he declined to comment.
Peggy Sue, of Butte, Montana, said:
“Wooo hooo!!! I knew if I just said ‘Go RV!’ one more time on an internet forum that it would somehow make it all come true – you just have to believe hard enough!”
Asked what she would do with her gains, she replied:
“I’m re-investing. Cousin Cletus buys his bait from the same guy as a director of Goldman Sachs, and he said that one day these rocks he sold me will turn into gold. I know it’s a long-shot, but the upside is so large it’s worth gambling on, and I’m only going to give him what I can afford to lose, and take a long-term view, so that makes sense, right? Hey, I’m an investor, and investors take risks, and I’d just hate myself if I missed a golden opportunity like that. Go rocks!!”
An Iraqi government official told us off the record:
“It’s so obvious, with hindsight – we should have done it sooner. All we had to do to be richer was to say the currency is now worth 1,000 times more, and everyone would be willing to pay 1,000 times more for it. I mean, wouldn’t you?”
But one dinar seller, who asked not to be named, said:
“I’m devastated! If I really thought this was going to happen, do you think I’d have sold dinars at the old price? What sort of an idiot was I!”
Meanwhile, a special sitting of the United Nations General Assembly has been called to discuss this unprecedented shift in global power.
The Central Bank of Iraq (CBI) has announced that the introduction of the new Iraqi currency has been further delayed due to teething problems with the cutting-edge technology that it will employ.
Radical new functionality including fingerprint recognition and near-field communication (NFC) promises to create a world-leading new monetary system, which will be the envy of governments around the world.
Several years of collaboration between the CBI, the World Bank, and Goldman Sachs, has made it possible to create a database to track the location and ownership of each dinar note, making the monitoring of transactions much easier.
Professor John Frink, of Springfield Heights Institute of Technology, who worked on the program, explained:
“Each note already has its own serial number, so it is a simple matter to set up a database to record the location and movement of each note.
“Near-field communication, which is already used in contact-less credit and debit cards, allows the notes to communicate with your mobile phone [cellphone] and relay information to our computers.
“Touch-sensitive paper can even record the user’s fingerprint, for additional peace of mind.“
A spokesman for the CBI, Dr al-Jolson, added:
“This is a new paradigm in the management of money supply, and probably the biggest development since fractional reserve banking.
“Electronic money is easy to monitor – we get daily logs of every transaction – but up to now, cash transactions were the missing link.
“The new system will make it so much easier for people to pay their taxes, both in Iraq and abroad.“
To launch the new currency, the CBI is planning a major ceremony early next year, which will be held at the ruins of the ancient city of Babylon. All major world leaders are expected to attend.
Current dinars will cease to be valid three months after the launch of the new notes, but up to that time they can easily be exchanged in person at any bank within Iraq; identification will be required and fingerprints will be electronically recorded.

16 comments:

  1. http://www.rumormillnews.com/cgi-bin/forum.cgi?read=14042

    Help - Another Crisis - My Land Lady is Coming for the Rent and The Money That Was There Last Night Isn't There

    Posted By: Rayelan [Send E-Mail]
    Date: Wednesday, 1-Apr-2015 12:21:41

    Huntington has screwed me again. This will be the last time I really am going to close that account.

    Last night... between my bank account and Paypal I had exactly $750.00. This morning I logged in to my Huntington account because my VA benefits should have come in today and I should have had over $1500 in the account to pay the rent and bills.

    When I brought up the account I couldn't believe my eyes. Between last night and this morning, Huntington added well over $700.00 in overdraft fees. There were NO overdraft fees last night or on any night that I checked the balance. But suddenly this morning there is over $750 in overdraft fees.

    Needless to say, I am closing the account today!!

    But that doesn't help me out because I have a landlady who is driving from Cleveland to Ashtabula to pick up the rent that I don't have.

    I truly need help today.

    On top of everything, the Fundrazr widget is being upgraded and I don't have access to it this month. There is one other that I will try to fill out the application for, but I don't think they will approve it fast enough.

    So... here is the link to the paypal. I need $700.00 for my rent that I normally pay out of the VA Benefit check that comes in on the 1st. But Huntington Bank... at the last minute takes out over $750 in late fees. Never Again. There was NO notice that I didn't have the money in there... I always check my bank balance before I spend a dime. What happened is purchases that I made weeks ago were NOT taken out of the account on the day I made the purchase, they were taken out yesterday. Thinking that Paypal takes out the money the day the purchase is made has been the mistake that I made last month.

    If anyone has had this trouble with Paypal before, please let me know. This is the second time these actions on their part has cost me hundreds in overdraft fees.

    However, I have no choice today but to ask for help via paypal to come up with the money to pay the rent... $750.00
    ---------------
    ~R

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. How sad that Raye has so few choices. What about firing some of the paid friends who live on you?

      Delete
    2. Why then she'd have no friends at all, except for the faceless Rubes of RumorSwill.

      Delete
  2. Mr. Ed is lacking in horse sense. Notice he puts question marks as if it is real? Go rocks!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, sskids. I liked him better as a horse. We used to drive past the pasture where Mr. Ed was retired when I was a kid. It was in Springville, California.

      Delete
    2. Rubes aren't friends! They are cattle to be milked or, otherwise utilized.

      Delete
    3. Dear Melinda, this post might be important and so telling, please put it up if you haven't seen it yet and consider it to be appropriate. Thanks.

      ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

      Money mysteriously vanishing of Rayelan's bank account (which one?) has such a loooooooooooooong tradition!
      It always happens when she's engaged with her beloved secret service military cia mossad buffoons?
      Here's the video from
      Global Sciences Congress, Denver, August 1993. Introduction by Dean Stonier and Eustace Mullins.

      Please prepare your handkerchief when
      Raye's pity begging self-confessions start at 29:40

      In retrospect it all appears so laughable though it might have been true, not?
      Question arises,
      how come Dean Stonier and Eustace Mullins
      had been deeply duped by this crazy
      Penniless Douchess of Esterhazy?

      Because Raye herself is a secret service military cia mossad buffoon
      remotely controlled and surveilled by her handlers?
      Hidden in plain sight?


      G~

      Delete
    4. Oh My Gaaaaawwd, Raye been to the ho-spital and ... she don't need more extra cash than only 30 dollars, on her PayPal account, this time, 3rd of April.

      What has happened?
      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
      snip

      I Just Got Out of the Hospital

      Posted By: Rayelan [Send E-Mail]
      Date: Friday, 3-Apr-2015 15:19:42

      I was dizzy and falling. I thought it was the Meniere's Disease again, but I wasn't throwing up like I do with Meniere's.

      A friend took me to the hospital. After many tests they discovered I was dehydrated and had a chemical imbalance in my brain. They gave me fluids in an IV and I am almost back to normal.

      My prescription is Smart Water and vitamins and minerals. Plus remembering to drink water.

      what is funny is this happened to me when I moved from California to Ohio. But it was much worse. Thank God I caught it before it got as bad as it was on the trip to Ohio.

      I know I have something in the basement that has all of the minerals that Smart Water has. I just have to figure out what box it's in.

      However, if I don't find it, I am going to have to buy smart water. I don't need much... But I will need enough Smart Water to last at least 5 days which is how long it will take me to get back in balance according to the doctor.

      I don't need more than $30.00. If there is more, I will apply it to the truck rental to move the large furniture pieces.

      (I just realized that it took me over two hours to write this. I guess I really am out of it.)

      Thank you so much for your help.
      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
      -> Donation to her PayPal account

      Raye's old MO Modus Operandi, PITY BEGGING (did she read here, inspired by her 1993 oldie?)

      Rumors have it, RMN music manager Hozie Zapman J. Gordon sent an urgent warning from Atlanta(?) to Ashtabula, threatening he'll leave the mill on Monday Morning because he's fed up with her financial coquetry.
      See for yourself ...

      My darling baby this is a warning

      Ladies & Gentlemen, Melinda Mousey (aka Kitty), what do you think about this newest forthcoming of RaRaRa the Rambling Raunchy Raye, now allegedly suffering from DeHydrata Imbecilia? I have a suggestion, let's turn to be benevolent, let's pick up her idea, let's remind her to take oxidated dihydrogen more often, let's sent her emails 24/7

      "as life get's shorter drink more water"

      Yes I know, I'm mischievous LOL!

      Greetings!

      G~

      Delete
    5. Sorry, Melinda, I didn't take enough minerals, vitamins and smart water today, therefore made a small mistake,
      please correct it in my previous post, it should say "gets" instead of "get's". Okay then, thanks, and let's remember

      "as life gets shorter drink more water"

      G~

      Delete
    6. It is official then, Rayeliar is only slightly more intelligent than a potted plant in that sometimes she remembers to water herself. What a load of HORSESHIT.

      Delete
    7. G~ - Rayelan loves going to the hospital. Every penny of cost is covered and she is an energy vampire. It is a perfect place for a hardy meal from the unsuspecting. And every even in her life is an opportunity for raising money. I'm surprised she has not asked for money to have a monument constructed for Buck. Oops. Hope that does not give her ideas.

      Delete
  3. Melinda where are you? The vampire has two begs already today.~ donna

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi there, Donna! I was really busy and never got online. Now I am stable and taking steps.

      Delete
  4. Watch this "Agent", self destruct,for questioning the Queen, http://www.rumormillnews.com/cgi-bin/forum.cgi?read=14267

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hi Melinda. How are you? Did I use the wrong language in my last post? My sense of humor gone wrong?

    What's much more important, of course, is it true (have to ask this way whatever comes from there) did Raye win the scmall claims case, that is, have your claims against her been rejected? Also, as far as I know, if somebody wins a case in the States then the losing side has to pay all costs. But Raye is whining again, saying she has to pay for her her lawyer and the court fees. Isn't this a contradiction? Well, as we know, she took a lawyer despite the fact she didn't need one in small claims process. I'm curious to learn what happened and how things are going for you and Arthur from now on. Wishing you well and Happy Easter. Please, if you find it fitting, keep us on the loop.

    snip of Rayelan's last thread, interesting how FreePlanet comes forward

    Money Has Come in and Gone Out Faster this Month Than Normal (views: 399)
    Rayelan -- Friday, 3-Apr-2015 21:50:54

    * It Seems I Only Post These Days When I Ask for Money (views: 346)
    Rayelan -- Friday, 3-Apr-2015 23:14:05
    o how can RMN cost that much??? (views: 334)
    FreePlanet -- Saturday, 4-Apr-2015 04:44:30

    Is the RMN card house crumbling?

    G~

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey G~ - I only found your comment above today. I had been too busy to check on the ones Jeff Gordon is hacking. Our readership is up. RMN costs many times what it is worth. They should be sued for the content they steal.

      Delete